The History of Jewish Dating
Jewish dating practices have a longstanding traditional history with roots in the customs of ancient times. Marriages had mostly been orchestrated by family elders on each side, and dating a Jewish person didn’t become a norm until modern times. This is because most weddings were arranged and were typically entrusted to God for ordainment, with families praying and following Jewish law from the Torah so as to be both faithful and thankful for the opportunity to expand in size.
As times have evolved and modern traditions have shifted drastically, the concept of being from another culture and dating someone Jewish is not out of the ordinary at all, even in Israel. With the diversity in Jewish culture today, many Jews are free to intermingle with anyone they’d like, but there’s still a strong emphasis on sharing your beliefs and values with your eventual partner, so dating within the Jewish community is still a common and beloved practice.
Interfaith Relationships
The prominence of interfaith relationships in Jewish circles has grown tremendously because of the mobility and freedom we see in the developing social scene. Jewish people are spread out around the world, and meeting people of different backgrounds and ethnicities is inevitable. And while some families may cause a stir about the prospect of interfaith dating, it’s still incredibly rewarding for those who do it. Not only does it offer a blend of cultures and a newfound respect for differing backgrounds than each individual is used to, but it also offers the ability to spread Jewish traditions to new groups.
Jewish Wedding Traditions
If you follow the right Jewish dating advice, matrimony may be in your future. And with that is more than just the union of two lovers, but the conjoining of a family. And you can be sure that with any wedding that takes a Jewish focus, you’re going to see some classic religious wedding ceremony rituals that are all important in the overall scope of a ceremony. First and foremost is the Ketubah, which is the marriage contract both parties agree to, and then the reciting of the seven blessings is crucial to the bond being created on this special day. Other moments, like the celebratory breaking of the glass and the circling of the bride, offer a resounding way for the couple to be accepted by their surrounding community.
The Role of Family in Jewish Relationships
Family is just as much included in most Jewish relationships as any other traditional ethnicity, and the immediate parents are largely involved in the approval process of a prospective partner once they’ve been introduced and after advice and blessings are granted. Traditionally, some families may have elected to use a “shidduch,” or matchmaker, who would pair eligible single Jewish men and women together through their community. Today, a parent’s blessing is worth that of a trusted guardian, and you can expect family to play a strong role throughout your marriage, as Jewish families tend to remain extremely close-knit.
Jewish Festivals and Their Role in Relationships
Having the ability to celebrate your most special holidays with someone who shares your beliefs is an experience you can truly cherish. Because this shared experience is probably engrained in your upbringing, sharing what it means to you and showing how you participate in festivities during Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, or Passover will help show your commitment to the community, as well as strengthen your relationship’s bond through jubilant, shared traditions.
Even if you’re not of Jewish heritage, you will likely be welcomed into any Jewish family willingly if an eventual marriage is condoned, and the experience as a new member of your surrounding company will open your perspective while introducing those traditional folks to your respective background, which they too may be unfamiliar with.
Modern Jewish Dating
One thing we can all agree on when it comes to dating someone Jewish is that the game has changed. No longer are traditional strains and customs forced on the younger generations, but Jewish singles are encouraged to use modern means, such as Jewish dating apps like Jdate to search for a companion who shares their values and upbringing. Modernity often provides challenges that make balancing tradition a bit more difficult, but since many people still honor their religion through faith-based practices and tradition in marriages, the means may look different while the endgame is largely the same as it ever was.
Jewish Dating Etiquette
Some rather important Jewish dating advice is to remain modest, clear, and kind when interacting among the like-minded Jewish community. Keep in mind the traditional dietary kosher requirements and respect the various differences among Jewish cultures today. Showing compassion and empathy is expected because honest and direct communication offers a true look at your possible Bashert! You want to make a thorough evaluation, not play games or appear unserious in your intentions.
The Significance of Kosher in Relationships
The Kosher diet is a timeless aspect of Jewish culture, but its complexity and difficulty in obtaining it can present challenges in a relationship if both individuals don’t have the same expectations for their diets. However, adopting a Kosher diet out of respect for your partner is a solid way to form a strengthening bond and shows a willingness to take on customs even if they aren’t what you traditionally practiced.
Jewish Dating Around the World
Whether you’re looking in Brooklyn, Toronto, or Jerusalem, dating a Jewish person can be a thrilling experience that may involve cross-cultural interactions, rich traditional customs, and large family celebrations. While these practices are sure to be familiar to other Jewish singles, someone of another background may initially feel overwhelmed or have hesitations regarding the new knowledge and lifestyle.
Because Jewish singles exist in many countries throughout the globe, you can expect different areas to follow varying traditions and subsets of Judaism or even condone other faith-based practices than you’re typically used to. Because of this, it’s important to be understanding and patient with these unique qualities so that you can ensure that your acceptance of the diversity in the Jewish diaspora comes across as genuine. You’re bound to meet people with alternating perspectives around the world, so it’s still important to make them feel included.
There are many reasons dating Jewish is simply amazing. I grew up in a predominantly Catholic area and didn’t go out with a Jewish man until my twenties when I lived in New York. I am flexible with dating anyone regardless of religion, but I found that dating Jewish men was really a great experience. For some people, it is no question: it’s Jewish or bust! No matter where you fall on the spectrum from only dating Jewish men and women or being flexible on the matter, there’s no denying the unique benefits of dating another member of the tribe.
Shared Culture & History
Having a similar background and upbringing as your partner is a very special thing. It helps the two of you as a couple because you view life in a similar manner and value the same things. Sharing traditions and religious practices (whether you’re observant or not) is also a way to really create a lifelong love and bond.
Not Having To Explain Jewish Traditions
When you date Jewish, you don’t have to explain to your partner that Hanukkah Harry is just something Jewish parents made up in response to the commercialism of Christmas, or that the cup of wine left out at Passover isn’t because you have a drunken relative coming by late at night. You also don’t have to explain that eating matzo isn’t a curse, although after day two, it sure as heck feels like it. You don’t have to spell out why fasting on Yom Kippur is a way of atonement, but there’s nothing better than breaking the fast.
Even if you just met, your Jewish date gets all of it, and the two of you share a mutual history thanks to the traditions you both grew up with.
Understanding Worried Parents
Your new Jewish partner understands why your dad is fretting more about you finishing your MBA degree than you are. He doesn’t bat an eye when your mom calls every day to see if you ate that day. Most Jewish partners will also have overbearing parents with the same thoughts, values, and fears that yours do, which is another thing that you two can bond over.
The Gift Of Gab
Does a quiet Jewish household even exist? When you date Jewish, you meet others who also grew up in a home that valued conversation, education, and family more than anything. Dating Jewish means that you’re more likely to meet someone who has the gift of gab and wit you love and treasure so much.
Inside Jokes
Some jokes are best shared with someone who grew up Jewish, just like you. Here are a few more ways you and your Jewish partner will be able to relate:
- The deliciousness of challah: Not only will your date know how to pronounce this bread’s name, but she’ll also know that it produces the best French toast known to mankind and is the most delicious bread made on the planet.
- Pronouncing all those Hebrew & Yiddish words: No, it’s not like we all go around saying, “Oy vey,” or “I’m schvitzing.” But your Jewish date knows how to say Hebrew and Yiddish words that don’t make him or her sound like a cartoon character.
- Never making fun of Barbara Streisand: Your new Jewish girlfriend knows that making fun of Barbara Streisand (especially to the older generation of American Jews) is an absolute no-no. If Barbara went out and stole money from children’s charities, your mom would still think she poops gold.
Maybe you’ve been open to dating anyone regardless of their religious background in the past, and that’s great! But there’s something special about dating someone who gets where you came from. Give dating Jewish a shot to see why it can lead to a serious love connection.
