While it may not be easy, and it probably was never planned to be the way it is, we all understand there are instances in which Jewish men or women are left to parent on their own. Whether this is the result of a mutual split, unforeseen circumstance, sudden tragedy, or something else, life’s unpredictability can rear its head at any moment and leave people with pivotal moments in life they’re forced to endure.
This doesn’t mean you’re excluded from finding love online, though, and when it comes to Jewish dating with kids, there can be some stigma associated with it, but also opportunities to show strength and perseverance through difficult situations. In this article, we’ll look at Jewish single-parent dating, its implications, challenges, and rewarding potential when done purposefully.
The Landscape of Jewish Single Parenthood
While Jewish dating for single parents has seen a rise in recent years, it’s not like this is a trend exclusive to Jews. In the broad landscape of society, divorces, unplanned pregnancies, and unexpected incidents are common across the board, and single adults around the country are not giving up hope on finding love again. Jewish single moms and dads dating has been openly accepted and embraced by members of the Jewish community, and that’s purely out of compassion for their personal case.
It is well known that balancing Jewish solo parenting and dating is hard, so no one is attempting to rush those hoping to get back on their feet into a serious relationship, but it’s important to understand the outside perspective from a cultural and social standpoint. While maintaining your faith is crucial in times of hardship, it’s even more prevalent when easing yourself back into the dating pool while also raising a child or even children. Not only is your life off-balance, but factoring in your job, social life, and any other hobbies can be extremely stressful.
It’s important to not only pray for these individuals but treat them with grace and respect as you would any other person. Profiling these singles isn’t helpful, but if you’re able to come alongside them and encourage them through this challenging situation, they may feel renewed confidence and their faith restored going forward.
Dating Challenges for Jewish Single Parents
There are going to be many challenges you anticipate, and many you will not when it comes to Jewish dating with kids. First and most importantly, you must take your child’s well-being into account and make sure you are prioritizing your parenting responsibilities before anything else. Your job and career certainly tie into this because they affect your schedule and finances, which are both constrained when you’re a single parent.
Another factor you’ll need to consider is the cultural context in Judaism, where it’s obvious to feel pressure after being left in an uncertain predicament. While some members of the Jewish community may be judgemental depending on the scenario, most will encourage you and tell you to look toward God for your next steps in life. It’s important to accept other people’s input with grace but remember that at the end of the day, you’re in charge of your life and should continue to do what’s best for you and your children first.
When you do finally make the time to juggle Jewish solo parenting and dating, you’ll need to be clear about your spiritual beliefs and cultural values so that a prospective partner understands your lifestyle. Single-parent status is not a defining characteristic, and they should be receptive to your ways of life and how you’ve chosen to raise your child, or else they’re unlikely to fit into your traditional household.
The other half of this scenario, which comes later down the line, is the introduction of a more serious dating endeavor to your kids. When children see Jewish moms and dads dating someone new, they’re going to have questions, so making this first meeting comfortable and preparing each party beforehand will make the occasion go much more smoothly. Make sure your children understand the motivations and desires you have while going through this process, but be careful not to overcomplicate things along the way until things become serious.
Benefits of Dating as a Jewish Single Parent
Jewish dating for single parents can also have its benefits, which begin with the closure and peace of mind it requires to move on in pursuit of another partner. While this may be cathartic, it signifies a pivotal and transitional moment in your life, which allows you to know you’re ready for the next season of your life. If you’re able to meet someone from the Jewish community who comes into the picture already sharing many of your religious and traditional cultural values, you’ll be relieved to remove this expectation that you or people close to you may have.
You always look to compatibility when dating, but connecting on a deeper cultural and spiritual level will provide for a greater bond not just between you two but also in the eyes of a child. When both adults have similar upbringings, routines, and life experiences, it allows the entire makeup of the relationship to feel more personal and removes any disconnect over faith or values. Because of this, you can spend more time relishing in the hobbies and interests that brought you together outside of your shared background.
The idea of expanding a family or integrating with another potential single parent may feel scary to a child at first, but with the Jewish lifestyle to lean on, they can see familiar characteristics that allow them to know the person you’re dating aligns with the lifestyle they’re accustomed to.
Tips for Successful Jewish Dating as a Single Parent
When it comes to the Jewish single-parent dating scene, there are a few basic principles you should keep in mind before jumping in. Remember, you should ease yourself back into the dating scene only once you and your children are mentally and emotionally stable to move on.
- Be Patient – Dating already calls for patience in itself, but re-entering the pool when you have a child requires you to accept a smaller amount of prospects, especially when considering your Jewish faith in addition to your status as a single parent.
- Define Expectations – You should always be clear when taking dating seriously, so making them aware of your children’s existence, stating your religious and lifestyle preferences, and being intentional in what that looks like in practice are a way to start.
- Practice Good Communication – Because your lifestyle is probably hectic already with parenting and trying to date outside of work and other obligations, being communicative throughout the process will be essential to ensure the other person understands your need to be flexible.
- Don’t Compromise – You may be eager to put yourself back out there if your previous relationship didn’t work out, but you shouldn’t be willing to accept the same inadequacies or even less for the sake of seeing someone. Instead, prioritize your most important customs and make clear that you will not be wavering on your beliefs.
- Put Children First – No matter what’s happening in your dating life, your children must always come first over anything else. It’s your responsibility as a parent to care for and nurture them to the best of your abilities, and that includes dropping everything else to make sure their well-being is being addressed.
- Seek Community Support – Like many single parents, Jewish moms and dads dating can’t do it alone. Though this can be an emotional challenge, your fellow Jewish community members will be there to help encourage, advise, and assist you where they can to help show they want the best for you.
Online Dating for Jewish Single Parents
In today’s day and age, single Jewish parents can be thankful for the advent of online dating apps like Jdate, which allow you to explore other like-minded single Jewish women and men from the convenience of your mobile phone. This way, you’ll be able to navigate your dating journey at your own pace, and because Jdate’s algorithm analyzes each user’s personality test vigorously, we’re able to match you with the most compatible singles in your selected region. And the best part? You will have already made clear that you have children, and this won’t be a deciding factor once you’ve agreed on a mutual date.
Single parenting is a tough task for anyone, but single Jewish parents need not worry if they’re hoping to get back into the dating scene. With community support, digital tools, and many like you out there, feeling the renewed confidence to start anew is something you can not only embrace but look forward to. Sign up for Jdate today and see why so many single Jewish parents are giving love a second shot.
