If your heart is free and belongs to no one, most likely you’re looking for the one person that can hold a claim over that beating, pulsating object. But does being in a relationship mean everything to you? Are you holding out on happiness until you’ve found “the one?”
If you answered yes, you’re too dependent on a relationship for happiness. You’re also missing out on all that time you could be happy on your own.
Here are some red flags that you might be putting too much stock in a relationship as the key to happiness.
You Don’t Have Much Of A Social Life
If you find yourself having nothing to do more often than not, then you may be waiting for a relationship to make a social life for you. If you don’t have a network of your own friends, you’ll only end up relying on a partner for everything, which is not good.
Get involved in a cause you care about, take a fitness class, play in a recreational sports league, become part of an arts organization … whatever you do, extend your social network. When you’ve got good people in your life, it makes a huge difference. Since my divorce, I’ve been single for three years, but I have a great group of friends I love and am always interested in meeting new people. It brings joy to my life.
You Are Waiting To Do Things Until You Meet Someone
You really want to take up hiking or visit Europe, yet you’ve been waiting until you’re in a relationship so you don’t have to go it alone. Why should you wait to do something you’re interested in until you meet the one you love? What if that person hates hiking or Europe? If you don’t want to go alone, see point #1 – ask a friend!
You Are In And Out Of Relationships Constantly
If being in a relationship is your sole source of happiness, you’re probably willing to settle for less just to avoid being alone. That’s no good. Think of all the time you’re wasting with the wrong people. That time could be spent having fun, making friends, saving money, reaching personal goals … even meeting the right person!
I remember back in my twenties when I used to date. It was like a revolving door of various guys I could potentially date. Granted, it was easier to meet men then and I wasn’t looking for a commitment, but there were times I wasted my energy on guys who were clearly the wrong ones. I could have been making goals, meeting new people and spending my time in a more productive way.
You Feel Awful Because You’re Single
Do you feel bad about yourself because you’re single? If your single status literally pains you, then you are way too dependent on a relationship to bring you happiness. Sure, there are days I find dating frustrating and I wish I had that special person to do certain things with, but I don’t think any less of myself simply because I’m single.
Plenty of people are looking for love. Plenty of people feel frustrated dating. Plenty of people haven’t met “the one” yet. Try to not be so hard on yourself. Instead, focus on things you can control to bring yourself happiness instead of things that may be out of your control. The happier you are, the better a match you’ll make, too!
Relying on a relationship for happiness guarantees that if the relationship ends, you’ll be miserable. Think of your happiness as a foundation – build it and the right person will only create more right on top of that goodness you’ve got going on!
You may also be interested in 4 Reasons To Celebrate Your Single Life On Singles Day
