Online Dating Slang You Need To Know

No matter what era you grew up in or what age you are now, there will always be slang associated with the dating scene. Each decade and generation comes up with its own unique terminology, but a special set of vocabulary is always set aside for the interactions between curious and hopeful singles. Because there is always excitement and uncertainty involved with dating, people derive quirky terms and catchphrases that vaguely describe something going on in their personal relationships. As these new words begin to gain notoriety and become used in social settings, you see them transition from inside jokes to legitimate slang, and sometimes, they even find their way into the dictionary. If you’re new to Jewish dating, you might wonder, “What is a MOT, and why do I keep seeing that on profiles?” In this article, we’ll take a look at how slang influences dating culture and how to identify and use it effectively.

Evolution and Psychology Behind Dating Slang

In the olden days, you can imagine how formal the initial dating experiences were. To court a woman, a man would usually have to ask permission from her father, and these sorts of gender roles often called for respectful language and polite terminology that showed affection in order to establish a more emotional connection. This is how common terms of endearment like “darling” and “honey” came about, and as dating became less of a serious matter and more of a personal journey, people began creating words that encompassed all parts of the dating process, using slang for more than just addressing your significant other. For example, you would say your relationship is “going strong” if all was well between you and your partner.

Most slang involves the emotional and psychological aspects of dating, whether it’s describing behavioral tendencies, situational circumstances, or even manipulation tactics. As we’ve evolved into a more progressive cultural scene, the way we date in modern times looks incredibly different. With the advent of online dating, more digital interaction has led to increased usage of new or unfamiliar terms, either developed organically or coined thanks to a social media trend that picked up steam. Slang used to take time to spread via word of mouth, but with the internet, a person could unknowingly come up with the next hottest phrase without even knowing it.

Impact of Technology on Dating Language

Because so much of our communication has moved to technology, it’s no wonder that online dating acronyms when texting, verbs taken from dating apps, or memes from social media act as popular sources for new slang. Things like the television show “Catfish” resulted in the creation of a verb for the concept of faking your online identity to find love, and the Tinder dating app made the idea of “swiping right” become common phraseology for being interested in someone. While these sorts of terms were originally reserved for the particular medium that created them, they’ve been adopted in casual conversation because so many people are familiar with the platforms and concepts. Social media only helps perpetuate this usage more, and once more people begin to see and hear something, the more likely they’ll begin to start saying it themselves, sometimes unexpectedly.

Slang Across Cultures

While you may think that the slang you’re used to hearing is ubiquitous among singles and couples everywhere, think again. Not only are there differences in regional slang, but varying cultures are bound to have completely different vocabularies when describing their relationships. This is important to factor in because you want to be conscious and respectful of other backgrounds because you may not initially know what may be deemed offensive to them, even if it’s kosher in your daily life. Western cultures are usually much more liberal in their approach to dating, but for people from strict customary backgrounds, like many conservative areas, for example, you will definitely need to take a more cautious approach and be willing to learn and understand what is or isn’t appropriate. While it can be fun to take words and phrases from online sources, they won’t always be applicable or helpful if you’re attempting to build a meaningful relationship.

The Ethics of Online Dating Slang

It’s always important to be intentional when dating, and that goes for online spaces as well, even if you’re just messaging a potential match back and forth. You want to be considerate of the individual you’re addressing, and that should also apply to the way you talk about the individual to your friends and family so you don’t paint an inaccurate picture. Just because you pick up a catchy term from the internet doesn’t mean it will be applicable throughout the duration of your relationship, even for longer than your first impression. Since dating is intended to be fun for both parties, you should be respectful of the other person’s efforts and individuality and make sure they’re comfortable with any slang you use when referring to them or your relationship. Even slang should be used in good taste, and it should never feel exploitative or offensive to the other person. If you’re questioning the meaning of a term, it’s best to just avoid using it, and overusing even the most endearing or affectionate slang can become disingenuous or uncomfortable.

Regardless of your age or dating experience, there are certain terms you need to know to avoid falling behind in the dating world. If an acronym or phrase pops up that you don’t understand, it could lead to some serious miscommunication between you and a potential match. To make sure you’re on the same page, review these common phrases and acronyms used by today’s singles.

Cuffing Season

During the fall and winter months, people look to settle down and be in a relationship. The cold weather brings with it opportunities for cozy cuddles indoors. The dark, cold atmosphere can also make people feel lonely, so the desire for a companion tends to increase during this part of the year. Typically, cuffing season prospects are pulled from drafting season (see below).

Drafting Season

The spring and summer months are when singles are out and about, dating around and enjoying the warm weather. No one wants to be committed because they’re too busy having fun and meeting new people. Couples with no future tend to break up at the beginning of drafting season in order to have the opportunity to meet new people in time for cuffing season.

Benching

Benching is the new “ghosting.” The prospect doesn’t disappear but rather puts you “on the bench” just in case. It happens when a person whom you went on a seemingly great date with doesn’t plan another, yet he or she sends you a random text every few weeks just to keep you interested in case they change their mind (or get bored).

F2F

F2F stands for “face-to-face.” This term is used when an online prospect wants to meet you in person. It’s slightly less romantic than asking you out on a date using actual words, but it’s become fairly common to text and use acronyms as a way to defer any possibility of feeling rejected. That doesn’t mean you should say no to an F2F offer, but you can respond with the following: “If you want to meet me, then you need to actually ask me out.” When he or she steps up their game, you’ll know they’re worth meeting in person.

IRL

This acronym stands for “in real life.” It’s used when discussing something that is happening offline. Of course, it only makes sense to use this acronym when you’re chatting online; once you meet, you need to cease use of it.

MOT/NJB

An MOT is a “member of the tribe” or a fellow Jew for those who don’t get the reference. People may drop this acronym when they want you to know they are Jewish or are asking if you are Jewish. Meanwhile, an NJB is a “nice Jewish boy.” It’s often used in online dating profiles by men who describe themselves this way or by women to describe what they’re looking for.

FWB/NSA

FWB stands for “friends with benefits” and is used to describe a pair who decides to hook up without dating. Meanwhile, NSA is the acronym for “no strings attached,” which is when people who are dating don’t want a commitment.

PFP

PFP stands for profile picture, something that may get brought up while talking to someone online, and it can confuse many people.

It can be a little overwhelming to navigate all the new terminology out there these days, especially if you’re just dipping your toe back into the dating pool after a long absence. But you’ll be surprised just how quickly you can catch on. You may ask yourself how much time you should devote to online dating, but don’t let a few new words or acronyms hold you back from potentially finding a lasting relationship.