Show, Don’t Tell: How To Make Your Online Dating Profile Read-Worthy!

Writing an online profile is tough. I know – I’ve done it myself! I’m a writer and even I wasn’t sure what to say. Even years later, when I look back on my old profile, I’m surprised at how bland it sounds.

You probably know what I’m talking about. How many profiles have you read where people try to describe themselves, but you don’t really get a sense for who they are? After a while, they all start to sound the same. Admittedly, trying to describe the unique person you are in just a couple of paragraphs isn’t easy. But I say, don’t. When you craft your online dating profile, instead of telling people who you are, show them.

Why Writing a Dating Profile Matters

If you’re wondering how to write a dating profile or are curious as to why crafting a quality one is crucial to finding an ideal partner, you first need to consider the digital framework of online dating. Profiles offer other members on a platform their first real look into your life, personality, and, ultimately, what you’re looking for in a spiritual partner on a matchmaking site like Jdate. With space to showcase your hobbies and interests and detail what you’re searching for in a prospective relationship, you can clearly express yourself and stand out among other less thoughtful efforts, allowing you to gain notice for your intentionality.

When you build a comprehensive profile that’s authentic and creative enough to catch people’s eye, you’re bound to garner more interest, which allows you to interact with more people. This means that you can navigate potential matches and eventually narrow down what you’re looking for. On a Jewish dating app like Jdate, proclaiming your specific ancestry and chosen sect of Judaism can help others who are from similar backgrounds find you, but if you’re looking for someone who shares your faith and don’t mind their specific practices, you can make this clear as well through your personal profile and preferences. Ultimately, some users may only glance at your profile for a matter of seconds, but in that time, you want to do your best to make an impression.

How to Write a Great Dating Profile

There are a few common qualities often featured in what we consider to be great online dating profiles. Here is a brief overview.

Clearly State Your Expectations

While appearing confident is certainly part of the dating game, what’s even more attractive to prospective companions is knowing and being able to identify what you want in a relationship. This reduces the chances of miscommunication early on and jumps straight into defining clear expectations and boundaries that help both you and your match assess your future potential together.

Be Honest and Display Authenticity

One of the biggest mistakes you can make when online dating is coming off as disingenuous, which will be incredibly obvious if your profile doesn’t translate to real life. Embellishing your personality, appearance, or faith can all backfire quickly, so it’s always best practice to be truthful in your delivery. If you don’t currently have the spiritual relationship with God that you’re striving for, there’s no harm in mentioning that you want to improve this in the future.

Select Accurate Profile Photos

While improved cameras and editing capabilities have allowed us to manipulate pictures with ease, these aren’t the types of photos you want to display on a dating profile. Instead, select a handful of unedited pictures showing you in a variety of different settings that clearly show your face, stature, smile, and passions. Try to only use photos with you as the sole subject.

Let Your Guard Down

Online dating is supposed to be fun, and no one is necessarily intrigued by a profile that feels unoriginal or too reserved. This is why you should feel free to let loose and highlight the lifestyle quirks and hobbies that define your personality. This gives others a glimpse into who you are outside of the fundamentals, making you more approachable, even if it’s just lighthearted conversation.

Appeal to Groups You’re Interested In

We all have particular interests and identify with niche subgroups within society, so including photos that show you participating in your favorite pastimes can immediately catch the attention of those who like the same things, allowing for an easy conversation starter. If it’s not something you can visualize, including it in the written part of your profile can also attract those who actually read your bio, meaning they already took notice to begin with.

Make Your Online Dating Profile Stand Out

While it may go without saying, the more creativity and personality you’re able to display in your profile, the more it will stick out amidst the pack. Whether it’s using plenty of fun images, detailing everything you like doing for fun, professing why faith is so important to you, or something else, the more authentic and personal you can make your page feel, the more potential matches are likely to be interested. Although not everyone is going to be a viable partner, it’s always good to know you’re not being overlooked.

Online Dating Profile Tips

When creating your dating profile, here are a few tips that will help you stand out.

• Showcase your personality by highlighting numerous aspects of your life
• Be approachable by displaying a positive attitude
• Explain what role faith plays to you in your daily life
• Choose an assortment of quality, accurate pictures
• Aim to keep the conversation flowing both ways

Don’t be afraid to express yourself in whichever way you see fit

Show, Don’t Tell 

One fundamental of good writing is “show, don’t tell.” For example, if you’re writing a story about an extremely talkative character, instead of stating how talkative he is, you could show him conversing with other characters and using long, descriptive dialogue where he barely draws a breath. Showing is far more interesting than telling. The same goes for your online dating profile – instead of describing your traits, show us who you are by talking about the things that matter most to you.

Here are a few examples:

1. Telling: “I love to eat.” (Boring)

Showing: “I’m not picky about food and will eat anything from a burger and fries to raw fish with seaweed. Think Joey from Friends.” (Funny and descriptive, this gives us a better idea of who this person is)

2. Telling: “I’m an old-fashioned girl.” (What does that mean?)

Showing: “I observe Shabbat every week.” or “Call me old-fashioned, but my dream is to stay at home and raise a bunch of happy kids, just like my mom did.” (These show old-fashioned or traditional values)

3. Telling: “I love to travel.” (Generic)

Showing: “I spent a month backpacking in Costa Rica last year.” or “I take a Caribbean cruise every year to fight off the winter doldrums.” (Interesting, and each shows us something different)

4. Telling: “My friends and family mean a lot to me.” (Most people feel this way)

Showing: “I come from a big family. We still eat dinner at Mom’s every Sunday, no matter what.” or “I’ve known my best friend since grade school and we tell each other everything.” (These give us a much better idea of this person’s specific values)

5. Telling: “I really enjoy reading, especially science fiction.” (Tells us a little something)

Showing: “I’m an avid reader. I don’t own a television and will devour an entire book in a few days. I own a huge library of books (I’ll never buy an e-reader) and am a big fan of Harlan Ellison and Connie Willis.” (Shows us much more)

In other words, try to avoid describing yourself and focus more on talking about your life, interests, and passions. This is much more exciting to read and tells people so much more about you!

Don’t worry if you’ve made the “show, don’t tell” mistake in your online dating profile. We all have. It’s something even writers struggle with, much less those who aren’t used to writing. But if you make a few changes to show people who you are through descriptive details, you’ll stand out and increase the odds of attracting your kind of people.